Tuesday, 8 January 2008

The highway man

In the dark dark night there was a highway man.He was in love with this girl
called bess.She was a nice girl she keeps on geting beetup
by her dad and keeps on geting black eyes.
The highway man was knocking on the door. Bess looked out of the window.
she done hair and opend the door and said come in why do you get black eyes my dad
keeps on keeps on beeting me up.The next day the highway man was cross tim was in love with bess.But the highway man got so cross so he got his and tim took bess
and went with Tim.And the highway man was on bessis dads side. And when she got home bof of them gave her a good slap and went to bed.And the next day and got mared

Avni and Rylan

2 comments:

Us Lot said...

to mahira and yasmin
this is a exllent story
you are like a arthur.







from nowshin and aishah

Mr Lea said...

This is a good retelling of the poems story, what we call the narrative. Now try and think carefully about the words you use, writing less, but thinking more. Try putting a pattern into the sentences, like how Alfred Noyles used words with the same sounds, clatter, clash, window, whip, whisp.
Keep up the good work, I look forward to your next edits.