Tuesday, 18 March 2008

The eerie terrifying highwayman with a feamele nag!

The adored highwayman was trip traping over the motorway, the road was called Chigwell
murtwell drive,She rode on horseback, she had stolen the horse from Collier Row stabels. Why, because she could not drive and needed to move fast.The adored Highwayman is me, Ameera, a young girl, in trouble.Me and my mare(horse)traveld we saw a very beatuiful house. This was where I needed to get to, it would be a safe place to hide.
I just put my horse on some kind of wood and tied the stallion with the string.
I knocked on the door and it was my(big)brother who was my age and i liked him and he liked me. He would help me. I made noodels for him and he made me bread. While we sat and ate, someone was waching me and it was the police who was tracing after me!!!!!!!!!!!Because i stoll my collier row stables nag because i couldent ride a car.While we sat there silently there was a shadow of the moon behind the back house the shadow looked like a dead sighn
and it said kill her Ameera.So i said to him i am gonna leave i said it because of that sighn so i left the police saw me and chaced after me because i was evil and i Igot on my horse i did not give my horse back because i couldent drive.
and i speeded my horse up and trip trapped realley fast but suddenly sadly they caught me and warend me not to shoot them but i did i only shot 1 then they shot
me and i fell off my blachish brown horse by fainting.Andthey took the horse back to the
collier row stables and they leaft me on the grond in the night time because
they did not want me to do anything else wrong to other people


Us Lot said...

This is really good Ameera, A tragic, well written tale that is great to read. Now think about editing it a bit more, think about why the sign made you leave? How did you know it was a death sign? Why did your brother not try and stop you? Why did you steal the horse, I know you said it was because you couldn’t drive but where were you trying to go? Who were you trying to see? What had you done /why did you need to escape?

Think through these ideas and add the details to your tale.

Us Lot said...

that is a good story ameera

from parkhill